Lumpy

OK…I know I said I would keep you updated on my doctor’s appointments that I had recently. To be honest, though, there really wasn’t that much to tell you. The results from my stress test were fine, other than the fact that I’m out of shape. I knew that already. No news there.
From there, I had a series of appointments stemming from a different issue that I had. Let’s go back to the beginning. A few years ago I happened to find a “lump”. Now, I know what you are thinking, but you’re wrong. My lump wasn’t where you would expect a guy to find one. Nope…this one was in my chest…my left breast to be more exact. OK…stop laughing now. Although not very common, men do get breast cancer. According to The American Cancer Society, there are about 1,450 new cases of invasive breast cancer diagnosed in men each year, and 470 men die from breast cancer annually. Anyway, the lump I found was about the size of a small pea or a BB. It was so small that when I informed my doctor, he couldn’t even feel it. So, I wasn’t worried about it. Fast-forward to the present and the lump is now almost the size of a dime. So, I again mention this to my doctor and this time he says he can definitely feel it and he wants to have it checked out more thoroughly. So…he schedules me for 2 separate appointments. First appointment…I have to have a mammogram…OK…you can stop laughing now. Second appointment…I have to have an ultrasound. Seriously…stop laughing! Both of those tests confirm that there is definitely a “mass”, and they want me to come back a third time to have a biopsy done. I went with their advice and had the biopsy. That was fun. They shoot some Novocain into my chest and then take a few samples with a larger needle that makes a sound like a staple gun for every sample they take. It didn’t hurt at all, just kind of freaked me out because I wasn’t ready for it. So…I had to wait a couple days for the results, but I wasn’t too worried because my doctor told me that he didn’t think it was going to turn out to be anything. Maybe he said that so I wouldn’t worry, but it turned out he was right. It wasn’t anything. I just have to keep an eye on it and make sure it doesn’t grow up to make something of itself. Well, at least now I can be like Shane and instead of saying “Wanna feel my bolt?” I can say “Wanna feel my lump?”
Seriously though, the moral of this story is that if you have any suspicious lumps, moles or anything else, please have them checked by your doctor. Even if there isn’t a history of cancer in your family, it doesn’t hurt to get confirmation from a physician, and it certainly takes away the stress of worrying about it. That’s why we have health insurance. Thanks!

“Wanna feel my lump?”